'Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the trailer
Not a creature was stirrin'
'Cept a redneck named Taylor.
His first name was Bubba,
Joe was his middle,
And a-runnin' down his chin
Was a trickle of spittle.
His socks, they were hung
by the chimney with care,
And therefore there was
a foul stench in the air.
From out in the yard
There came such a noise
That Bubba got scared
And rousted the boys.
There was Rufus, 12;
Jim Bob was 11;
Dud goin' on 10;
Otis was 7.
John, George and Chucky
Were 5,4, and 3:
The twins were both girls
So they let them be.
They jumped in their overalls,
No need for a shirt,
Threw a hat on each head,
Then turned with a jerk.
They ran to the gun rack
That hung on the wall.
There were 17 shotguns;
They grabbed them all.
Bubba said to the young'uns,
"Now hesh up ya'll!
The last thing we wanna do
Is wake up yer Maw."
Maw was expecting
And needed her sleep,
So out they crept out the door
Without making a peep.
They all looked around,
and then they all spit.
The young'uns asked Bubba,
"Paw, what is it?"
Bubba just stared;
He could not say a word.
This was just like all of
The stories he'd heard.
It was Santy Claus on the roof,
Darn tootin'
But the boys didn't know;
They was about to start shootin'!
They aimed their shotguns
and nearly made a mistake
That would have resulted
in venison steak.
Bubba hollered out,
"Don't shoot, boys!"
That's Santy Claus
And he's brought us some toys.-acap
