Kill a Kitten
When the game of life makes you feel like quittin’,
It helps a lot if you kill a kitten.
Mark my words, ‘cause from where I’m sittin’,
You can’t go wrong if you kill a kitten.
There’s no crime that you’ll be committin’;
I know the law: you can kill a kitten.
If you need yarn for that scarf you’re knittin’,
You’ll get plenty when you kill a kitten.
Feed it turpentine,
Or breaks its spine,
Crush it with your shoe,
As long as you…
Kill a kitten!
If the one you love isn’t quite as smitten,
She’ll like you better when you kill a kitten.
I quote the Bible ‘cause that’s where it’s written:
If ye loveth Jesus, ye must kill a kitten.
Flush him down the can,
Hit him with your van,
Drown him in a lake,
Bake a kitty cake,
Throw him at a train,
Make him snort cocaine,
Stick some TNT
Up his cat-booty,
Do what you must do,
As long as you…
Kill a kitten!
Killin’ kittens isn’t easy
And if the thought makes you feel queasy,
Grab a pitchfork from the shed,
…and kill a puppy-dog instead!
Kill a kitten!
Kill a kitten!
A little furry kitten!
A little furry ki-i-i-i-i-itte-e-e-en!
Kill a kitten!
Kill a kitten!
Kill a kitten!
Kill a… Ki-i-i-i-ill!
