Ophelia was a bride of God A novice Carmelite, In sister cells, the cloister bells, tolled on her wedding night Ophelia was the rebel girl, A blue-stockinged suffragette Who remedied society between her cigarettes And Ophelia was the sweetheart to a nation overnight Curvaceous thighs, vivacious eyes Love was at first sight, Love was at first sight, love Ophelia was a demi-goddess In pre-war Babylon So statuesque, a silhouette In black, satin evening gowns Ophelia was the mistress to a Vegas gambling man Signora Ophelia Maraschina Mafia courtesan Ophelia was the circus queen, the female cannonball Projected through five flaming hoops To wild and shocked applause To wild and shocked applause Hey, he-he-he-he-hey, Ophelia was a tempest, cyclone, a god-damned hurricane Your common sense, your best defense lay wasted and in vain For Ophelia'd know your every woe and every pain you'd ever have She'd sympathize and dry your eyes Help you to forget And help you to forget And help you to forget Ophelia's mind went wandering You'd wonder where she'd gone To secret doors down corridors She'd wander them alone All alone
Al Bundy lyrics