These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I could say I came up with more secrets to tell you today These are my confessions Slip my mind the last two times Silly me, so now I gotta give you part three of my confessions First I told you about the skank that I was cheating with,then I mentioned she's having my kid That's not all, now I recall more you see, so I'll give you part three of my confessions
Now this is gonna be the hardest thing I think I ever had to do, Gonna tell you everything I left out of parts one and two Like remember when I told you I knew Paulie Shore (Paulie Shore) That's a lie, I don't know what I said that for I borrowed your chapstick (from you)without asking Oh I tried out your nose hair trimmer (too) And by the way your diamond ring is cubic zirconium, I killed your goldfish accidently, just replaced it with another one
These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I could say I needed to get some things off my chest right away These are my confessions Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions I threw up on your dog last time I had too much to drink There have been times when I've peed in your sink Don't know why, but you and I should agree that belongs in part three of my confessions
Baby forgive me I'm still trying to figure out why I used your toothbrush to clean off the bathroom grought Oh and sometimes in private, I really like to dress up as Shirley Temple and spank myself with a hockey stick (hockey stick) My boss thinks I'm a jerk, I didn't get that raise. I haven't changed my underwear in twenty-seven days! And when I'm kissing you I fantasize you as a midget I'm so sorry Debbie! I mean Bridget!
These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I could say I got a few more secrets I'd like to convey These are my confessions Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions Gave you buttered toast I dropped and picked up off the floor FYI it was not a cold sore Ooops my bad, but you'll be madder at me when I finish part three of my confessions
You don't know how hard it is for me to tell you this, but remember that shirt that you got me for my birthday? Well, I returned it for store credit. That thing was hideous, what were you thinking? Oh and by the way, I wasn't really sick last week, I just didn't wanna go to your stupid office picnic Oh and when I told you at breakfast we were all out of rice krispies, What I meant was that there was only enough left for me. Sorry.
These are my confessions Just when I thought I said all I could say, I thought of some more things that should scare you away These are my confessions Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions Once I blew my nose and wiped it on your cat And I lied, yes that dress makes you look fat Anyway, I shouldn't say anymore 'til I give you part four of my confessions
I mean I'm just getting started here I'm not even half way down the list I mean this thing could go on for....(footsteps) Honey? what? Was it something I said?(door opens and slams close)
Between The Buried And Me lyrics